Equations: Distance
Do you grow fonder? Or apart? What is too much or too little? What is independence and what is loneliness? Is physical proximity what we’re discussing? Or emotional gaps in communication? I wouldn’t even dare involve time in this equation. That would only complicate it further. Time has a way of prolonging the inevitable or rushing things forward at an unearthly speed.
The art of being alone is something to be valued and studied. Knowing who you really are, being able to self-soothe and remaining faithful to the unknown. Arguably what every parent wants for their own. The pursuit of contentment. No more hoping for anything other than now is lonely AND your ticket to freedom. Beauty, space and peace with what is.
So if you’re fine entirely alone, then what is the point of adding in others? Especially if you’ve only just subtracted someone who you were co-dependently intertwined? Certainly, there is the case for comfort. When feeling broken the desire to lean on someone. But that is what friends and community are for. They always say, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” But what makes you stronger are the people who remind you of how your voice sounds and hold space for your many expeditions trying to remember yourself. They don’t fix you, but love you despite your many efforts to prove who you are. So here, physical distance matters less than communication and understanding. These relationships are irreplaceable. [May I always be this kind of friend—I am so grateful to have many that fit this very definition in my life]
The devil says, “You can only depend on yourself. No one will ever understand you.” Surely this is the message on blast in society today. But that isn’t loneliness for the sake of understanding the present. That is ISOLATION. Pain and confusion tempt those toward violence. A solidification of hateful words spoken to or about them at a young age with a society lacking awareness to pull these people out of their basements. Rewarding trolls and division instead of access to clubs, teams and safe neighborhoods. Chances to share in unified purpose for something greater. In this particular case, physical distance is entirely the point. The energetic exchange between bodies in the same room. For when you go outside to a crowded place be it a coffee shop or an office, you are bound to be effected by others’ movements and moods. Yes, there needs to be a layer of self-preservation and protection BUT more importantly there are the opportunities to experience the vibrancy that occur in unlikely interactions. Small moments of eye contact and acknowledgment can be enough to bring you right back where your feet stand. Apart from the wandering, mind too busy misidentifying reality.
Now, the theory for a mate. The shakiest formula because it must be proven with TWO variables! Is it possible there is someone out there willing to take you on? Not as a project, but as a jolt to your system? That embellishes, challenges and adds to your vigor. Where you both are the others’ priority and champion. Present FOR each other’s dreams and willing to craft new and bigger ones together. Ones that would have felt impossible on your own. Then would distance really matter? If all those above conditions are met, then we are speaking about two equals. There is security in their commitment because as two complete equals they are really only one. You never see 23+18==41 because it is redundant. Fear of losing the other to distance dissolves because of this shared desire to feel complete. Their innate synchronicity in communication. Physical closeness increases its intensity, yes, but miles in between won’t diminish it’s truth. It is an opportunity to light up the world with an equation of pure connection beyond measurement. This kind of partnership is the solution.
