The Joy-less Marie Kondo
My dad said, “Before you have a chance to say whether or not it brings you joy……
PEW!
It’s gone!“
He was making light of the fact that my preference is less is more. In my own defense, I tell him right back that I don’t want his joy boxed up and hidden. I want to bring these kinds of memories to the forefront, put them on display.
We all need jolts to disrupt the patterns, and if an object can reignite a love for a time or a person, and by all means put it where your mind must struggle to ignore it. I have now gone through every single closet in my parents home, and yes, given so much away. I have realized they were holding things that were seemingly insignificant, but really they just needed a chance to say why they held it in the first place:
A warm special Canadian blanket or a sippy cup that might’ve been used in their childhood, but not sure. The privilege I received was listening how and where these items came from. Bringing alive a story long forgotten. Had I waited until they were no longer here as it often happens, I would’ve tossed away and wondered what all the crap was about or for. Instead, my parents remembered and released or kept.
The keepers we gave easy access to or a prominent position in the home. No longer questioning where things are.
Knowing where to find what you’re looking for is a luxury.
Being able to look at everything you thought you’d forgotten. To see the pure love of your parents and what they couldn’t part with. A mother‘s platter, a book with a personal inscription, my brother and my baby shoes, kitchen towels tattered to pieces, but reminding them of those who cooked with them. My Miss Piggy pillowcase or brother’s Barney one. Work awards, hard earned and spoons for the most ridiculous purposes.
A bonbon spoon?
OK….We should probably invest in some bonbons then. Give this spoon a fighting chance.
A long life’s worth of stuff yet keeping space to touch what matters. Whether it’s good feng shui, or just a calming order, it doesn’t matter. Space for energy to move remains essential. Clutter kills creativity. The mind already has enough to transfix on. Give it less to attach to.
My mother’s compulsion to order things, amassing more and shoving in closets creates welcome distraction. A misdirect surely, but I cannot judge because I have my own methods of avoidance. Unused open Space, empty shelves are voids unknown. We cannot bare to see them unused, just as the mind will desperately try to fill in the blanks with answers.
We have a universal desire to make sense in order where there is none. Some easier than others. Unspeakable evils and tragedies less so. We might be inclined to say,
“Everything happens for a reason,”
but that is an oversimplification.
A false assessment.
We cannot pretend to know the web we are entangled in. All that is revealed is at the end of everything there is unconditional love. So we must take time to sit with new space. Not be consumed with needing answers, but marvel at its power. Watch how creating space, might increase your capacity to hold it. To not fulfill the desire to fill, but instead watch. So that what you’ve wisely chosen to display will set your mind in the frame of joy and combat any fears you have of the unknown.
